Tears For Fears

My hubby is an avid 70's, 80's & early 90's music fan so today's blog title is a shout out to him. :)

So, the other night I was putting the older three kids to bed.  I had been pretty relaxed and let them stay up later than usual, so I was wanting bedtime to happen quickly.  


I had just tucked the girls in, and went into the kid's bathroom to check if they had left it in good shape.  Recently, I spoke with them about rinsing their toothbrushes when they were done, wiping down the sink of excess toothpaste, and just in general trying to not leave a big mess.  Everything looked great except for one cup, full of soap & water.  A potion.  :)  My kids enjoy mixing together anything they can get their hands on and someone had made a potion and forgot to dump it.  


No big deal.  I dumped it down the sink, only to realize after that they had also put toilet paper in it as well. Now the soggy toilet paper was clogging up the sink.  I cleaned up the mess and walked into Kier's room and asked if he had made the potion.  


"Ummm...potion??  Where?" he stammered.  "Kier, in the kids' bathroom.  Obviously you made it.  Please just tell me the truth."


"Ok.  I made it." he says.  "Well, please don't put toilet paper in it next time.  It's clogged up the sink, because I didn't know it was in there.  Ok?"


"Ummm...I didn't put any toilet paper in it, Mom.  One of the girls probably did."  So, off I go next door to the girls' room.  "Guys, which one of you put the toilet paper in the potion in the bathroom?"


Cait, ever so innocently:  "Not me, Mama."  Rory, very insistent: "I didn't either Mom.  I didn't do it!"


Hmmmmm....who do you think put the toilet paper in the potion?


Well, after many back and forth's between their room, I still didn't have an answer.  Now, someone was lying.  I told them that I didn't really care about the toilet paper.  At this point, I just wanted the truth.  I told them I was going to ask one more time, and if no one told me the truth, then all their blankies would be taken away.


No one fessed up.


So, amidst tears and sad eyes, I took all their blankies and headed downstairs.  I told them whenever someone wanted to tell the truth, to come down and talk to me.  


Ugh.  One of those 'this is so not fun' parenting moments.  

A couple minutes later,  my boy appears beside the couch.  Lip quivering, I can tell he's struggling with what to say.  Finally, he starts, "Mom.  I made the potion.  But...I didn't put the toilet paper in it.  But, Mom please just punish me.  I've told the girl's that I would take the blame.  Please Mom.  They are in their beds, crying so much.  I can't take hearing them so sad.  So, please Mom, just punish me.  Keep my blankie.  You can even take my pillow."


Guess who started crying then?  Yep.  Me.


In the end, Rory fessed up shortly after.  We were huddled in a heap, everyone crying, when Daddy walked in from his meeting.  Needless to say, we all learned lessons that night.


"While we try to teach our children all about life, our children teach us what life is all about." 

Living Unbalanced

For years, I've said that we were trying to live a balanced life just like Jesus did.  Not resting solely on grace.  Not living simply out of truth.  But a balanced blend of the two.  Not forsaking one for the other. 


John 1: 14:  "The Word became flesh and made his dwelling among us. We have seen his glory, the glory of the one and only Son, who came from the Father, full of grace and truth."


And I still believe we are called to live out this balance.


However, over the past few years, I've realized that I've taken this principle of being balanced and tried to apply it to all areas of my life.  And failed.


Or at least that's how I ended up feeling.


For example, in a 24 hour span, I may have spent a bit of time of intentional one on one time with each of my kids, made 3 healthy meals, tidied up the house at the end of the day, and maybe even read my Bible!  Yay for me!


But, I would lay in bed feeling discouraged.  Ok, so I got some major areas covered today (time with my kids, balanced meals, a house that doesn't look like a tornado ran through it, and I even had intentional time with God), but I was still left looking at so many areas that I hadn't touched at all!


Time with my husband.  Time with friends.  Time with women from church.  Time for myself, relaxing.  Time for myself, challenging myself (exercising, starting a new project, etc.).  And the list goes on.


So, I'd wake up the next day, determined to focus on some of the areas that I'd not even touched the day before.  And I would!  I would plan a date with my hubby.  I would do my 30 minute workout.  I would shower and actually do my hair and makeup!  I would call a friend.  I would set a date to get together with a lady from church.  


And that night, I would lay in bed, again feeling discouraged.  I had hardly even acknowledged my kids today.  Dinner was a quickly thrown together tuna casserole.  My house was upside down already (how does that happen so quickly?!?!).  


And the cycle began again.


Finally, I started to question this cycle.  Jesus wants me to live with contentment and peace, and I was busy doing things and being intentional and trying to be balanced, and ended each day being discouraged with all that I hadn't done.  So, things weren't adding up.  Why?  I was trying to live a balanced life, just like He had.  What was I doing wrong? 


Then, I had a breakthrough.  It wasn't trying to be balanced that was the problem.  It was that I was so focused on balancing everything at once, while keeping a perfect balance within each thing.


I'd created a checklist.  Spend time with my kids.  Check.  Ok, now I must balance it and spend time with my hubby.  Check.  Spend time by myself.  Check.  Ok, now I must balance it and spend time with ladies from the church.


Now, don't get me wrong.  I believe we have to be intentional in most areas of our life. 


But I was more focused on being intentional, than I was on truly seeking what God would have for me today.  In this moment.  And trust Him.  Not my checklist.


There are natural ebbs and flows in our lives.  Rhythms.  And I believe that Jesus lived in these rhythms as well.  If you look at His life on earth, recorded in John, there are rhythms that are represented in his day to day life.   When getting ready for our recent Ladies Discussion night, I found a blog from a lady named Christine Sine.  In her post, she had identified 4 basic rhythms in Jesus' life – the balance between spiritual and secular, work and rest, community and solitude and fasting and feasting.


Reading this was an 'Aha!' moment for me!  In order to live a balanced life, we will be unbalanced!!  Especially when measuring our lives on a daily basis.  If I feel that today, God is asking me to spend intentional time with someone who just needs company and encouragement, I simply may not have time to myself that day (community and solitude).  And that's ok!  There's no need to lay in bed at night, berating myself for what I haven't done.  There will be time for solitude.  It just wasn't today.  


Reminds me of something....Ecc.3:1-8:


"For everything there is a season,
      a time for every activity under heaven.
 ² A time to be born and a time to die.
      A time to plant and a time to harvest.
 ³ A time to kill and a time to heal.
      A time to tear down and a time to build up.
 ⁴ A time to cry and a time to laugh.
      A time to grieve and a time to dance.
 ⁵ A time to scatter stones and a time to gather stones.
      A time to embrace and a time to turn away.
 ⁶ A time to search and a time to quit searching.
      A time to keep and a time to throw away.
 ⁷ A time to tear and a time to mend.
      A time to be quiet and a time to speak.
 ⁸ A time to love and a time to hate.
      A time for war and a time for peace."


To everything there are seasons...rhythms to be embraced and be imbalanced within.  


My life should not amount to a list of checkmarks.  


But rather, a wonderful, colorful essay...with many paragraphs and chapters.  

When it rains...

...whip out that rainy day outfit, and rock it! :)

An upside down kinda day

My sister Jenn was visiting us for the past few days, and today was her last day here.

And I woke up with a migraine and on day two.  

(wink, wink)

Today was not what I had planned for my last day with my sister visiting us.  

Her, playing with Cait, while I laid on the couch, with a cold cloth on my forehead.

Her, feeding Cait lunch, while I was trying to put something in my belly.

Her, cheering Cait on as she splished and splashed in the pool, while I sat in the shade, with sunglasses on, holding a cranky, teething baby.

But, then the fog began to lift and the day righted itself, for a couple hours, and we got to talk.

And it was lovely.

Having 3 sisters of my own, I am just so happy to know that my girls will have each other.

Of course, not to leave out the important big brother.  That relationship is oh, so important on so many levels.

But, equally important, is the bond of sisters.

Fellow girls, women, who know you, love you, support you, and are there for you...

No matter if the day is upside down or right side up.

Love you all.  Oh so much.

Friday Crushes

What I'm crushin' on right now (in no particular order):

Pinterest.com!  So fun!  It's an online bulletin board, full of fun ideas and sweet pics!  Check it out!  And I dare you to not get addicted! ;)

My sweet little girl, Maeve.  She's almost 14 months old now and is so close to walking.  It's so cute to watch her at this stage.  She has slices of all of her siblings (and parents) in her, but is also very much her own little person.  Enjoying her so much at this stage...this, my last baby.  And I am ok with that.  :)

Red, white and teal.  Loving this color combo!  Possibly for my girl's room.  Possibly for my basement.  The possibilities are endless! ;)

Wordless Wednesday

Fun in the Sun

So, last summer I had just had my babe and I had one goal for the summer.  Survive it, while trying to do as many fun things with the kids as possible.  But, I set the bar low.  Real low.  Like, hanging out on the back patio for the morning, afternoon and evening and calling it a party, low.

But, now that my babe is just over a year now (say it isn't so!), I am heading into this summer ready to raise the bar, just a little.

A few fun ideas that I've been kicking around: 
make a summer drink with the kiddies.  I just cut up a whole watermelon and froze it, so I'm thinking something along the lines of watermelon/coconut/mango/strawberry combo.  Thought it might be fun to get just the right recipe that we all agree on, name it and make it our summer 2011 drink.  Simple, but hey...if it's not simple, it probably won't make my list.

get them all to pick a summer project (or at least one that will take more than an hour to do).  Something like a detailed painting for their room/basement that they have to do in stages, maybe a sewing project (that is, if I can get the dust off my sewing machine enough to get it working ;), or a simpler project (making bracelets/jewelry but make a list of people that we want to make them for and do it one at a time.

getting into our summer house routine tops the list too.  making beds as soon as you wake up (as per usual), and getting back into our chore routine that we've gotten out of the past couple months.  The kids actually enjoy helping to clean and cook, even though they think initially that they don't. :)  Kieran is 9 and Rory is 7 now so they can definitely take on more than I've given them lately.  Doesn't sound much like fun, I know.  But the way I put it, is that mommy still has all her work to get done, so the more help I get, the faster we are able to all get out of the house and having fun.  Works well for us. :)

As hard as it is to believe that we won't be out in the sun, lapping it up every moment of every day...I remember that not long into summer (say, july 5th or so), the ever present phrase: "I'm bored. What can we do? There's nothing to do..etc.." makes it appearance and I am reminded why, even on summer vacation, we have a schedule to each day.  A flexible one, but still a guideline.  And I find that works best for me and the kids.  If they know they have to play outside in the pool for 1 hour, they give up with the excuses (yes, spoiled, I know...who complains to have to play in the pool?).  They surrender to the fact that they have to do it for an hour and usually get playing so much that one hour turns into two before anyone even bothers to notice.  And that's good for all of us. :)

So, there's the start of my brainstorming.  Not much, but it's a start.