My Tender Hearted Boy

My oldest baby is 6 years old. He is funny, thoughtful, whiny when tired, and has such a tender heart. He is the big brother that all little girls wish they had...protective, fun to be around, and willing to watch all the ballet performances and princess dress up games they can throw at him. He loves being responsible (when he decides to be:), and is a sucker for any kind of physical contact. He especially loves when I tickle his back and arms. He often tells me that even when he's daddy's age, he's still gonna cuddle up on the couch with mommy. (Mommy's done her share of brainwashing on that one:).

He has great and unique relationships with each of us. He's cuddly and vulnerable with me. He absolutely loves wrestling with his daddy and it amazes me how many 'likes' they have in common. They both love to read, they love to have their alone time, and their latest favorite is playing online Scrabble together. It's the first thing Kier asks to do when he gets home, and he's getting pretty good at it too. His relationship with Rory is one that is comfortable and safe. Sure they argue (more and more as they get older), but they really have a great time playing together, whether it's with their playmobil's or in the bath or outside. Their personalities compliment each other and it really makes me happy to see them such good friends already. Watching him with Cait has been one of my most favorite things lately...he takes such tender care of her, and belly laughs at her when she does even the simplest thing, like walk towards him yelling 'boy-yee' (her name for him). He has said often since she was born, how much he loves her and how he's going to take care of her always. He is a boy that thrives on the relationships around him, and is a boy that, I believe, anyone would be lucky to have a relationship with.

And now, he has a relationship with God.

Last night, right before bed, and right after yet another bout of ungrateful whining on both his and Rory's part, I decided to have a heart to heart with them. I talked about all the things they had to be grateful for, and about all the boys and girls who don't have any of the things they have. This is a conversation we've had many times before, but it really seemed to hit home with him last night. He asked if the boys and girls who didn't have much were happy, and I said that if they had Jesus in their life, that even without all the things we have, they could be happy. I explained that often we as humans think that all the stuff around us is what makes us happy, but often it can just get in the way of us really seeing Jesus as the only thing that will make us happy. We then talked about why Jesus came to the earth and that why, when he was 33 (same age as daddy), he died for us. Again, this is a conversation we've had many times, but Rob and I want to be sure that when our kids choose to start their relationship with God, it's them choosing it...not us coaxing them into it. I knew he was really listening to me, but didn't want to push him into anything, so the last thing I said, before ushering them to bed was, 'The decision to have a relationship with Jesus is a decision that only you, Kier, and only you, Rory, can make. Mommy and daddy make decisions every day for you, because we are your parents and it's our job, but this is a decision that only you can make. You have to be the one to talk to God.' Kier was quiet for a little while, and then he turned to me and said 'Mommy, thank you for telling me that I have to make this decision. Because if you didn't tell me that, I wouldn't have known that I have to be the one to talk to God about my sins.' I then told him that he could talk to God anytime, and he said he wanted to right then. So, he got up, went to the other end of the couch, pulled a cushion in front of his face, and talked to God for about 2 minutes. When he finished, he put the pillow down, and had the biggest smile on his face. He launched himself into my arms and I asked him what he just did. He said 'I made the decision mommy.' I asked him how he felt and he said 'really good, mommy. really good.' Rob walked in the door just after and I explained to Kier how God doesn't want us to keep our relationship with Him a secret...that He wants us to tell people that we know God, and he sat Rob down on the couch and told him that he had just prayed and asked God to forgive him and that he would love God forever, and that they would work as a team to help Kier make good decisions. Kier hugged both of us so hard, and told each of us that he will love us so much until he dies. (he's got mommy's dramatic flair ;).

Needless to say, there were alot of tears last night. I haven't felt this humbled to be a parent as I was last night. To see this little human being in front of me, make this life altering decision, on his own, between himself and God, was a defining moment for me. It reinforced once again, that although we are responsible for many things in our kids lives, they are ultimately in God's hands and He desires to be their number one relationship, Provider and love of their life. And I'm more than ok with that. :) I can't imagine thinking that it was all up to me as the parent...what a heavy load, that we will inevitably fail in many respects in. But, having Jesus as the primary example of how to love, how to obey, how to forgive, etc...is so freeing and so comforting. I've failed, many times as his mom, but he now has a relationship with the One who will never fail him, never forsake him, always love him, always be with him, in death and life. Pretty amazing and humbling stuff.

So, today is the first day of his walk with God, and there are a lot of prayers being said from this little mommy. I've been learning the big lesson that when I look past all the rules, decisions, parenting philosophies, etc...the most important routine I can get into with and for my kids is to pray for them. God, through the Holy Spirit, is the most powerful changer of hearts, and He is in me, and now, in my little son, so there is no limit as to what He can do in and through each of us...especially with a heart as tender as his.